AUGUST ON 365

   Hello August, you are here already. Not that I anticipated. It may seem kinda hard but I told myself I was never going to miss you while you are away on the 365 days trip around the sun. Here is a shocker for you. I missed you more than I ever did in my entire life and have come to appreciate you even more.

August,hold your breath for this one.....are you sitting down?......When you said to allow myself be found....I loosened up.   After all it gets boring staying indoors watching movies on Friday nights while everyone else is out on a date. The one I met was very  difficult, as if I am any better. He could make me laugh the whole day  and demanded so much attention ,something I am absolutely not used to but I adjusted.

Fun days turned into horrible days . I was treated like a doormat,assaulted and left in the middle of the street one night and stabbed a couple of times in the heart and now I appreciate the need to live a single life even more.

These days I fear the life lived outside of Gods will and fear being with a man who does not love me as Christ loves the church.

.......This person has tried my patience and tamed my anger. That  relationship has changed my thoughts about marriage.   In fact marriage comes with its own challenges..... Yaayyyyyyyy.

  I have learned that when a man loves you he would be loyal and trustworthy. He will be focused. He will fight for me as much as I would fight for him. I will try his patience ,he with mine and he would make me want to scream at times but when the dust settles I would be his priority. And that he won't say it often but he will love me and my heart would be safe with him so yes I fell but I got up,dusted myself and moved on, away from the counterfeit.

I have not watched TV in a while. The eyes  won't permit me. I almost went blind but God stepped in. They are doing amazingly well now and I am looking forward to the day I can do without those glasses completely.

I have come to appreciate Mama more, she stays awake even after midnight to say "welcome home" before going to bed. Everyone else sleeps off before I even get home... Mama is the best .

Time; there's absolutely no time these days. 24hrs is like 12hours now....

And oh my friends, not that I have a big circle.  Some have messed up  a lot of times just like I do but I am nicer to each of them. I treat them with grace because true friends are  worth more than any worldly possession.

August, graduate school is knocking on the door silently ....I pray I make the days count because two years would fly by soon.

My biggest challenge that you never spoke about is the fact that there are gossips in every organization. Those who make you the center of their lives by running every hook and cranny to get a little info about you, turn it upside down and spread it like wildfire.  It used to get to me but not anymore. Let them do their talking and let me continue to be a celebrity doing only the things that make me better.

August,  I have had bitter days ,been humiliated, felt forgotten,unworthy,terrified and alone but I take consolation in the words of   David in Psalm  30:5 that says "weeping may last for a night but joy comes in the morning."

Many wonder how I do it but I think   august gives birth to very strong children.

I take it easy and smile even more.  I shall enjoy my  twenties....

August, for the lessons that I have learned, I am grateful.   I'm still discovering the rest.

For now, I may be taking baby steps but I am making a lot of progress. And Its my fervent prayer that you would meet a much more excited  and better "me" on your other 365 days return trip.

This year you came with a different wind and honestly any day in august is better than a day in January......

How has your year been so far?......Has it been good or bad?..... Has it brought you pain much more than laughter?........No matter how the months in the year have treated you remember that Gods joy is our strength. He promises to bind our wounds. It is darkest before  the dawn, but the sun will rise again.

And the pain that you have been feeling is just the dark before the morning and it can't compare to the joy that is coming.

Keep riding your bicycle and breathe the sweetness that hovers in August.

This piece is for all my friends who loved me when I was  so unlovable....... Abigail,  Aramma, Kiki, Vivian ,M- Sita, Emefa, Evanam, Sark Mason,  Helga,  JD,   Kwadwo , Franklyn , Speaker Addo  and Stacy.

Blessings fall on you all.......

LOVE CAN KILL YOU

I woke up to find Emily crying at my bedside in ward 5 @ the Opoku Ware hospital. I was alarmed, had the doctor said something to her or had something happened at home? I quickly sat up and asked her why she was crying. Amidst the tears she told me her twin sister had committed suicide..

 

What? Emelda had committed suicide, why, how come? Reason being that her husband of eleven years was cheating on her and had practically moved out of their apartment leaving her with their two kids- Ryan and Bryan. I was astonished.  

 

Emelda had gotten her heart broken; she was in a state of cynicism and bitterness. Her husband wouldn't eat her food, he beats her when she complains about him coming home late. He wouldn't even touch her anymore. Yet day in day out, her husband goes in to the next door neighbor's home, takes her out and sleeps over. During an argument, he mentioned that he was going to divorce Emelda for the woman next door just because it's her he feels he wants to be with. I am also told that Emelda's husband, Jamal was in Ghana during the Christmas holidays and stayed over at his in-laws house but had come with Rethabile, the lady next door. He had sold all the lands he and his wife had toiled to buy just so he can have an expensive wedding ceremony for the lady next door.

 

 

That reminds me, I was in Johannesburg in August to see my granny and visited Emelda a couple of times but the only conversation we could hold down was mere pleasantries when we exchanged greetings. The rest of the hours we spent, every tick-tock was her complaints about how her husband cheating on her with the lady next door. 

 I saw how practically devastated my friend was and advised that she seeks counseling.

 

If your man has ever cheated on you especially with someone close then you would totally understand how my friend was feeling. She was not only emotionally hurt but had lost her self- confidence too. She didn't find a reason to wake up, dress up and show up anymore. She didn't have a job. Emelda has been living in Johannesburg for ten years and had never worked before.  Her Husband won't allow her to. So she had become a stay- at -home mum taking care of her two children. The only time she ever goes anywhere is when she had to drop or pick her kids from school, or people like us visit and we wanna hang out. I had always envied Emelda's figure. She was tall and slim with bigger butts and wider hips. She had an ‘8 figure’ and each time we were walking by the roadside during our university days in Ghana, it's either we get to have a free ride to our destinations or we had men staring at us in both directions.

 

So before I returned back to GH, my granny had gotten her a contact to a counselor to help her pull out of her current situation. I have tried calling to check on her and also to find out how the counseling session had been going but she won't pick my calls. She had even blocked me on WhatsApp. I have had my granny go to her house to check on her several times. I was even told she never made it to the counselor’s. 

 

Apparently Emelda had gotten tired of the situation and felt suicide was the only option forgetting that she had her children to live for. So she swallowed a couple of pills whilst videoing herself and sent it to her twin sister whom she had blocked for a couple of months now. My granny was called but by the time she got to the apartment, Emelda had passed on. What ‘goodies’ did Rethabile have that Emelda lacked? Why would her husband treat her this way? 

 

On Tuesday night, I was called to come over to the funeral home on the Haatso road. Aaah!!!! Funeral home? What for? The person didn't say. So I made a friend drive me over to the place where I met my friend Mansa's  mum. The woman had lost her voice from too much crying and all she could ever say to me was "look what your friend had done to herself"? ....so I asked, is Mansa the reason we are here at the funeral home?. She answered yes. I couldn't believe it so I asked that they take me to see my friend. Two gentlemen along with Mansa's mum led me to the morgue, and there laid my friend with a band on her wrist that read...."Mansa Addo". They were just about putting her into the fridge when we entered. I froze! Reality hit me suddenly and I burst into tears.

 

Mansa and I had been childhood best friends during those days in Adafoah. We played in the sand together, attended the same primary school and lived across the street from each other until my mum was transferred to Accra and we had to move to the city. A year later, Mansa's family also moved to Accra and the friendship continued. Two years ago today I was at her wedding and I must admit it was a lovely one. From the decor to her gown and the reception, all was on point. She was happy with Gerald . They both were until things started getting bad. 

 

Mansa would call me at night crying over the phone that her husband hadn't been home for a week. Her food was always left uneaten. Whatever she says pisses Gerald off. They no longer had any conversation without arguing...

 

They would not reason together as husband and wife but anytime her parents or his parents were visiting they both pretended all was well. No matter how many times they quarreled they would go to church and pretend all was well. Really? 

 

She kept receiving anonymous text messages and calls from different ladies telling her about their affairs with her husband or asking her to stay away from Gerald. Some even sent pictures of the way he lays them in bed.

 

It was devastating. Mansa soaked it in. I knew she had bottled a lot within her the day I visited her at Korle-Bu. She had told me she was tired and couldn't take it anymore. And even though her blood pressure just kept rising the doctors couldn't say exactly what was wrong with her. So she was often in and out of the hospital.

 

The situation had been a big toll on her. Her colleagues at the bank had noticed but she wouldn't speak to anybody. Mansa kept growing lean. Even Gerald noticed and all he could say was Mansa should eat well. He gave her a week of love and affection, claimed he had changed and went back to his usual life style in three days.

 

On Monday, she came home to meet Gerald in their matrimonial bed with another lady. That broke her but she took it easy. I called to check up on her on Tuesday morning but she was driving and asked that we speak later in the day. I didn't know she had passed on until her mother called me.

 

My friend just broke her mother’s heart and that of mine.  She died because she couldn't take it anymore. She died for love.

 

Hmm!! I'm saddened.  Love is never supposed to hurt. Love is supposed to heal, love is supposed to be your haven from misery. Love is supposed to make life worth living but it can also kill you.  Each time you decide to love someone, marry someone or get into a relationship with someone or whatsoever, remember it is a risk. It may or may not work out. 

  

I dedicate this piece to each and everyone who has been hurt one way or the other by love. I have had my share of it, we all have but the sun would definitely shine again.

 

Whatever causes you pain, whatever sucks your energy is not worth fighting for.

 

When we lose hope may God help us to remember that his love is greater than all our disappointments and his plans for our lives are bigger than our dreams.