Blind for days

Hi there,

I live , love and learn everyday but mondays are made with love for me. They represent a fresh new week packed with new opportunities and new challenges.  So as usual, I sat in front of my dressing mirror and begun speaking blessings over my life before kick starting the day when my s7 edge beeped. It is Aku, my konkonsa partner texting with updates on the lastest  info of that guy we met at the Sharwarma party over the weekend  I thought, only to realise it was actually a reminder.......It was 21st November and I had an appointment with Dr.Baeta at 8:30am. Dr. Baeta has been my ophthalmologist for several years now ever since his dad went on retirement and he took over the position.  My heart missed a beat as I anticipated the results of todays cycloplegic refraction test to find out the reason for the constant pain in my  eyes and the headaches as well so I dragged me off into the shower and got ready to step out to the hospital and then finally to the Orange house to present the 10am show.

Whiles waiting at the bus stop  waiting for Osei, my favourite taxi driver,  I felt this sudden headache and some slight dizziness and then everything went blur. I sat quietly until I heard the horn of Osei's car. I was still in absolute shock when I asked him to help me get into into the cab and pleaded that he put  my bag on the seat beside me. Up until then, I was normal, funky and excited about having a bite of starbites jollof rice later that day.

We drove in silence. Am sure Osei was shocked too. He didn't know what was happening so he kept asking "madam, wo ye okay?. I responded. .......Ani nanso me nhu hwee"!! (Yes, but I can't see anything in twi) .  I panicked , rubbed my eyes and pulled up my eyelids with my fingers. I even closed my eyes and opened them yet the world stayed dark. I was on my way to the optometrists office,  how could I suddenly lose my eye sight?.  I pushed ,my bag closer to me and fumbled through until I found my phone. Familiarity with it proved to be  a blessing here as I managed to unlock it and get to all my call log, calling the numbers one by one.

I finally managed to return the call from the optometrists reminder.

"Dr. Baeta speaking......Mancee are you alright? "

I took a deep breathe and calmed myself down before speaking , "No, am not . I came in on Saturday, and am even on my way  to see you but you didn't tell me  I was going to go blind. I am unable to see anything,  Dr.  Baeta."

"Give me just a second ,  "I heard scuffling on the other side. "So I just pulled out your file,  Mancee.

 Have you come into contact with any chemicals since Saturdays exam?  Any physical trauma?

"No please".

"Alright. Listen , I am gonna need to take a look at you. Could you please get someone to take you to the office?

"Sure, I am on my way". 

"Okay, see you soon and stay calm, Cee.

"Okay, bye".

So many thoughts flooded my mind after the call with Dr.  Baeta.   I don't know what the future holds  for me since I am blind now, how about my listeners who were to be served Branch on the airwaves of Orange 98.1 fm, so I wouldn't be able to see my little girls beautiful smiles any longer? 

......Were some of the thoughts that flooded my mind.   I also thought about how  how I was going to 

be a burden to my mum and siblings.  I hate people doing things for me. I am a getter myself. Just then I remembered my dreams from last night.  I was in my pink tank top and blue skinny jeans driving my favourite car, a white Ferrari with my hair blowing  in the wind ever so freely and smiled. At least I haven't lost the power to dream.

We arrived at the hospital , the driver walked me in carrying my  bag in his other hand.  Dr.  Baeta was waiting in his office and quickly helped me to relax into a seat and run  a couple of tests including a 4 - d base treatment,  visual field tests and a stereoscopic test and then we had the cycloplegic test to determine  the cause of the pain in both eyes.

Later he explained to me that my visual loss cannot be medically explained and asked that we pray and hope for the best but in the meantime he had prescribed some medications for me which I could pick up at the fronts desk and asked Osei to take me home and pick my glasses that would aid me to see next week.  Honestly this left me confused.

I called in sick and stayed in bed the rest of the day. My data was off. There was no I could go on social media since I was blind now so the only thing I did was to listen to the songs on my phone , or listen to the news either on   Tv or radio.

These past few days, I ate my food in silence and with no supervision.  Same when I go in to take a shower. There are some things that you can do without the help of others when it becomes a part of you.

Then I got fed up with staying in bed all day so I would follow my sister to the bus stop on her way to work and try to walk back home alone. I hated coming out in the afternoons because the sun kept disturbing my eyes but mainly because most of my  neighbours who had heard about my predicament felt the need to treat me differently.  They just won't allow me to go for my strolls in peace. They felt sorry for me. Gave me unwanted special attention and said things like "oh you poor thing" and here Sweetness,  let me help you get home when they meet me at my gate or on the street..... But hey , I got along fine.  But I must say its a challenge being blind.

Sometimes it felt as though I could see but when I open my eyes I only realise that I cant see except for that permanent colour.........black.

Then , I woke up to a white morning. Still blurry but yes  its indeed a white morning....... hallelujah.

Losing my sight for these few days made me appear stoic and calm beneath the surface. However I was smoldered in anger because I believed I didn't deserve my vision loss.

But I also learned that believe in  God is so helpful with coping with a dramatic human event. I just knew things were going to change, but the time wasn't known to me.

All I wanted from my optometrist was kindness not indifference,  attention not distraction and he delivered.

I did not want to be dismissed as unimportant but my friends at least those I had the chance to speak with over the phone didn't make me feel like that though not all of them heard. (Now they know via this write up.).

Next time you see a blind person in the street , don't treat them differently,  just treat them with respect . It can happen to anybody......May God cause us to remember his grace that keepeth us.

........a million miles above the sky 

         Angels bow before your throne

          You are God and God alone

 that is the song they have been singing ( I am singing it too)

          all creation call you holy 

          Even now we bow before you

          Worthy worthy worthy
           is the lamp upon the throne

       

           Hallelu Hallelujah

       we lift our voice to praise your name .

          Hallelu Hallelujah
           heaven and earth adore you Lord
            (Repeat).

Today is not like any other day.......Its my thanksgiving day.....

There are still so many things in life to be enjoyed even when you are blind..........happy sunday

    

A Note To My Self On My Birthday

Dear Self,

Its amazing how fast time runs huh! ...Another 8th August is here and it is your birthday.

I have seen you triumph,

I have seen you fall,

I have seen you cry and laugh,

I have seen you on your best days and your worst days.

I have  listened to all your concerns, your complaints, your goals,

I have also listened to your heart and your spirit..

I have seen people walk in and out of your life,

I have seen you care yet not cared for,

I have seen you love yet not loved in return.

I have seen your heartbroken loads of times ,

That is life , Self and you know all that now.

I have seen you learn so many lessons on this journey ,

I know you may not have all the answers at this moment and that you are still searching and defining your real purpose.

It is a new day , a new beginning and as you  take the first step in this new year,  be advised to start it with self discipline,  self awareness and self love.

Self, you have so much power that you may not know yet but I hope you develop and identify all of your power points, untapped capabilities in this new year .

Be kind to yourself , your family and to your friends as well as everyone you would meet .

Be grateful in your heart. Be thankful for those  who have wronged you because they have not done anything to you but for you. They have opened  up things inside for you   and helped  you grow into  someone who is stronger.

Be grateful also for life's experiences that have paved way for you to know who you are and who you are not.

Self, remain humble. I repeat remain humble.. Always remember you did not get to where you are now alone.  You got to where you are because of hard work and determination.  People trained you  because they believed in you. People accepted your mistakes. They took chances on you because they saw all your rushing through and wanted to see more of you.

Still dream Self. I know you don't have the spirit of fear but sometimes you feel like opening the door for it to come through.  Never!  Remember  why you are doing  what you are doing. Remember the CNN  dream. Don't be too shaken by the adults decision that are now inundating in your life. Never be overwhelmed by payroll, rent , health care and bla bla bla bla .... Everyday is a new  possibility to see the world as  a place you can dream big.  The  exciting part is that you get to sit back and watch them become a reality... Dare yourself and don't chicken out.

Make this new age an opportunity for you to to show all that you have prepared for in the last decades.

Self, don't change who you are. Don't let the negative things of this world block you from seeing all your beauty,  most importantly your beauty.  You are damn beautiful , Self.  Rock it this year. Open up your heart to love more, ...............allow you to be found......

Last but not least, pray like never before , pray, pray more. Pray and spend more time with God  as often as you can.  Nothing  matters without him.  You know if hes not the center of your life then you are not really living right!  Sure you do.

                    your purpose is in him,

                     your worth is in him,

                      your  salvation is in him,

    

Self,  he is your all in all......... He is your everything.

As the sun sets on your   +1 birthday  don't forget  that you are  a lioness.  Dare to become all you were created to be.
  

The slate is clean.  You are not defined by your past. The best version of you just begun.

   

Its a perfect day for you.    Happy birthday.

See you in two years.

Sincerely ,

Mancee......

I will praise you oh Lord for you have raised me.  Am thankful for life .  Thankful for yet another year . My life , my heart, my soul and my love , it all belongs to you Father.  Give me more of you for the year ahead, grant me grace to finish my race and may I never miss thy welcome voice  and my well done message at the end of it all.....Amen.

This is especially for my PIC , the finest sports journalist....Miss Helga Gokah. Happy birthday sissy . May God bless you, enlarge your coast and fulfill all your heart desires.

It is also for my boss.  How I wish all  bosses were like you, Sir. Thank you so much for believing in me and for the opportunity to learn and grow and build on the skills needed  for my chosen career. 

This is also for  my friend who is currently far away in Australia  yet remembered it was my birthday and  sent me a cake. You are the best !

 Also for Yoko. Thank you for the drinks and for always being there.

I would want to say a big thank you to all the guys in my office for making the mini party fun.

To the one who sent me  'the surprise cake '  , I say God bless you.

It is also for you  Chris. Thank you for an evening out. I enjoyed the pineapple rice. Am sorry I couldn't eat all . My condition didn't permit me to.  You are too kind.

Something spectacular happened when I got home later that evening,  my little girl met me at the door , gave me her usual bear hug and sang me "a happy birthday song ". It was as if she's been waiting in anticipation for me to walk in. Such a priceless moment. 

 Ajo, thank God for you. You are
my most treasured gift.

And to each and every soul  who made my birthday an Awesome one, I say thank you. 

A GIFT OF GRACE