LEFT AT THE ALTAR....👰

It was a beautiful June morning. Elegant and classy  with a fall theme of orange.Plum and cream  as our colours. Laid back and relaxing for our guests.The grass looked  much greener in the garden and the early morning drizzle   made the flowers blossom all the more.The  beautiful garden of Asher Hotel was tranformed into the wedding venue with the altar set up at the far end . Rows of chairs were set up on either  side with  a white carpet laid in the middle. Everything looked magical. 

So they say if you marry in June; you are a bride all your life.  I wondered how true that was as my hand pressed against my chest in an attempt to calm my speeding heart. I looked out of the bay window and smiled at the hustle  bustle below. Guests were arriving and I saw a family member and close friends greeting and guiding everyone to their seats. 

The day was finally here. Jamal Coleman;his name brought smiles to my face. He has been a part of my life ever since we were kids. We grew up together to be friends and then that friendship blossomed into love and today that love was going to be sealed with matrimony.

It was only few moments now before I marry the love of my life

It is  almost time gushed Lena my best friend and maid of honor as she  swooped into the room carrying the bouquets.  Following her was  Jessica; her twin sister and the rest of the geng; my six
bridesmaids.

You look beautiful my mum said as she pulled the veil over my face , smoothing it out.

Jamal wont even know what hit him when he sees u walking down the aisle teased my little brother Kwabena as he poured as all champagne for a toast before the ceremony.

Gosh, I was a sight to behold with my lace and satin a- line wedding gown.  The bodice of the gown was detailed in lace , ribbons with a bateau neckline.  My slim waist was outlined with a belt that merged into  the fall of the satin that graced the floor.  Just  then there was a knock at the door and it flung opened and there stood my dad in the door way awe struck at the sight in front of him.

Pride swelled in his chest and tears brimmed in his eyes. He said, “ i cant believe  i am about to walk my little girl down the aisle , It was only yesterday you learned how to walk"  as he pulled me in for a hug. I replied Dad, “I will always be your little girl"  as I placed my head against his chest.

My brother ; Ekow  said  to me “  if that boy gives you any grief you just have to tell , you know right?"  I laughed and pulled back from him . He added  “ I am not joking baby girl".

Ed Sheerans  “perfect" began to play in the background  as my Dad walked me down the aisle and into the arms of the love of my life along with my bridesmaids.  Not only did my gown sweep the  white carpet that laid on the grass  but it was also covered in glitters as my page boy and flower girl threw them along the way from the tiny baskets they held all through the way to the altar.

After blessing the rings, the priest asked that we  face each other and then the vows followed with Jamal going first holding that beautiful silver ring in between his fingers. 

“I take you to be my partner for life,

I promise above all else to live in truth with you
And to communicate fully and fearlessly,
I give you my hand and my heart
As a sanctuary of warmth and peace

I promise that 
 I will walk with you,
Hand in hand,
Wherever our journey leads us,
Living, learning, loving,

And I pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor
As I join my life to yours,

Together,

Forever." 

And just as he was about to slip the ring on my finger, he whispered softly  into the microphone..." I can't do this"  and run off. 

And so I screemed at the top of my lungs until my voice went hoarse and my throat was raspy. "Get me out of this dress. Get me out of it. Get it off!".

My desperate fingers franticly ripped at my wedding dress; a dress that had taken my two friends ten minutes to get me into, thanks to the intricate crisscross ribbons of the bodice. But I was trapped.  My brides maids; Lena and Jessica  held my hand and started walking me away from the scene,  they were taking too long. The air around me became too thick to breathe and I felt like I was drowning.

"I cant breathe. I cant breathe .Its too tight."

Lena tapped on the door to room 109, Jessica quickly  made a  move for a knife that was requested upon arrival at the hotel reception and without hesitation, she cut.

The sound of the serrated knife eviscerating the ribbons was like fingernails down a blackboard; it made  my skin crawl. But I could feel the bodice getting loser until it finally slipped down my aching body and pulled lifelessly on the floor. I was finally free.

And then the tears came, hot, wet tears streaming down my cheeks and streaking my flushed skin with angry black mascara lines. The tears turned to sobbing.

I looked at my dress, the pathetic puddle of ribbons, satin and beads lay at my feet. But I still felt trapped. My hair! The perfect up do, held together with delicate  pearl clips.

Suddenly it felt like every  strand of hair was tightening around my head, like a boa constrictor going in for a kill. My fingers ripped desperately trying to free it from its pearly captives.

I wanted to get the pearl clips removed. Gone off. I wanted to rub every single trace of the wedding away. I pulled out my earrings and grabbed the nearest tissue, rubbing my pink lipstick off until my lips hurt. It smeared across my face like an ugly rash.

If someone were standing outside the window looking in, they would have pegged me for a  crazy person. And I wouldn't have blamed them. Because somewhere in the back of my now -estranged rational brain , I knew I looked like a lunatic escaped from a mental  asylum. But I didn't know what else to do.....

Because he...

Jamal Coleman, fiancè of one year , perfect boyfriend of  eight years had left me  just some few minutes before we exchanged rings  at the altar. The bottle of perfume that  he wanted me to wear today; insisted I wear because it was his favorite mocked me from the dressing table . So I picked it up and threw it against the wall, watching it shatter into a million pieces just like my life. I was hit by the sickly sweet smell of jasmine and felt sick to my stomach.

What was I going to tell the over five hundred guests who had sat on the lawn in the garden just to see us get married.  Some  had even flown in  here  to Ghana all the way from Australia.

A wedding that my father had spent a small fortune on. A wedding that was going to be perfect. Perfect, dammit, perfect.

I had made sure of that, red hart concepts had painstakingly handled every single tiny detail. It had taken months and months of meticulous planning to create this day, and now what?

Things went blurry all of a sudden. I vaguely remember my big brother Ato bursting into the the room screaming insults  and vowing to beat the hell out of him. I was even told he had punched the best man when he claimed to have no idea of Jamal's whereabouts and intentions.  My rational  father tried but could not  find any legitimate motive for Jamal's behavior at the altar after he had tried calling him a hundred times. His phone was switched off. Where did he run off to? Why did he choose to do this at this time? 

At some stage, the guests started a rumour mill....it went into full swing.....

She had an affair

He left her and eloped with someone else

He was gay,

She was uncultured.

People threw around bad words like bastard, asshole, liar. They also threw around words like shame, sorry, pity. They wondered whether they should take their wedding gifts back or leave them. What was the correct protocol in situations like this?

While the world around me was going mad, I felt a strange calm descend. My mind drifted off to the day he asked me to marry him. It was on the eve of his graduation day from the University.  We had gone out on a date  at the Tomreik hotel. I thought it was going to be a normal dinner where we would just eat, drink and talk but Jamel had surprised me . He had taken me to a small setup of chairs and a table that had wine and a light snack by the lakeside. 

"I love you more Bae" . You are my heart and soul,my  sweetheart ", he whispered into my ears as he pulled out the chair for me to sit on. 

My eyes got teary. He got down on one knee and pulled out a red Cartier box, I gasped then he said ,"I cant imagine  spending my life any other way besides loving you and protecting you for as  long as I shall breathe" . Will you marry me? ...With tears in my eyes I agreed to marry him.

That night he kissed my neck softly. My skin was on fire everywhere he laid his lips. It took everything I had not to cup his face and finally give in . Jamel gave me a night of sweet blur of torrid kisses and passionate caresses. 

He snapped my bra off and grabbed my panties.  

Then he immediately locked his mouth on my clit. I gasped in instant pleasure. He sucked and licked me so good as my body arched into his mouth as I leaned back.  His hands kneading my breasts watching me moan for him..

 "Oh god Jamal , yes!. That feels so good!"

 He took off his shirts off and then I unbuckled   his belts and pants and start stroking him. He moaned and threw his head back a little . 

Jamal took me and kissed me again running his  hand through my hair.

Suddenly I felt him enter me . I gasped getting used to his size. It always got me. I loved it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we kissed every once in a while as he plunged in and out of me.  "Bae, oh god! You are sweet. So wet and tight like always."  He groaned in the nook of my neck and then places kisses down it.  He speeds up but not pounding too hard. I moaned with intensity as he hit my gspot over and over again . I let go of his hips and he drives forward harder and deeper .  I felt myself being driven over the edge . I wrapped my arms underneath his  arms  and onto his back and shoulders and held on to him so   tight as we both cum together .I ended up falling asleep in his arms after. Those arms were home to me.

Then again reality hit me and nothing seemed real anymore and I began to feel like a voyeur looking at my life from a distance. I didn't care that I was sitting on the floor in my bra and panties. I didn't care that my mascara were so smudged. I just didn't care.

The priest came in to offer some kind of spiritual guidance but left quickly. Some inquisitive relatives wanted to come in through the door but were sent away.  Sima Brew   wanted to see her best creation  come alive but became a total freak when she saw the state of the dress.

Then everything went very hazy and the noise around me combined into one strange drone.

I closed my eyes and everything went black.

On my wedding day,  I couldn't  imagine that the man who had promised me the world and professed his undying love for me left me at the very last moment. I opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling, the reality of what just  happened weighing heavily on me but I gasped and shot up in bed. My family doctor had come in to give me an injection to help calm me down.

 Eventually my parents drove me back to  our  luxurious beach front home ;  Pedu -west where I spent the rest of the day in bed. I wanted to escape somewhere where I could no longer feel anything. Jamal had shredded my soul, leaving me hollow and bare. I wanted to forget everything that happened today and before this day; his touch, his voice, his kisses, his promise, the twinkle in his brown eyes when he smiled. I couldn't live with those memories because he was no longer here neither was he a part of my life anymore and I was not going to go insane living with those.

But how can one erase eight years worth of memories? I needed time to heal and my dad felt that a change of environment could help so he put me on the next available flight to Dubai the following week to visit my aunt; Akua Asor.

After a month I was still broken as day one but had managed to put that energy into modelling since I had the height and an  hour glass figure. I wasn't exactly on the run way but  I was doing occasional photoshoots. Been in a couple of  well known fashion magazines too .

 Three months later, it was time for me to return back to my homeland.  I returned back to Ghana to finish the final semester of Med school and do my house manship.

Its been difficult especially when he never gave me any explanation for leaving me at the altar.

 Infact I never heard from him again. His family tried to reach out to me but could not explain their sons behavior. He meant the world to me. He was my heart and soul. Now how does one survive without those?  I am just glad that I am still breathing.

It was 2am in the morning. A very cold  morning and I was still wide awake and have not been able to close my eyes for a single moment.  It was the harmattan season and  some few days to  Christmas as well.

My name is Ewurasi Asher, the only daughter  of Ebo Asher, the CEO of Asher Hotels. He owns a chain of hotels from around the world precisely West Africa, making my father one of the richest men in  Ghana.

  I live in one of the flats in Adenta, a suburb of Accra.  I moved from home in Cape Coast  to work with the prestigious  Ann Marrie Medical Centre as a Neurosurgeon  for the past one year. It was hard to adjust at first. I always had things given to me on a silver platter and I had house maids to do my domestic chores for me but quickly I learnt how to adjust and I can honestly say that moving to Accra   was one of the best things that has happened to me.

I have been suffering  from insomnia for the past two months. I had just slipped back into bed after letting the curtains up so the light from the moonlight could come in, when my phone lights flickered. It was a whatsapp message from my room mate  Damilola . She sends messages usually during my birthday or when it's Christmas. That is when she is away in Nigeria for the holidays with her family. 

So I replied and then she asked me the dreaded question. "Ewurasi, when are you getting hitched...?  It was this question  that led me on a walk down memory  lane.

.....its been one year six months already and I have not been able to get myself into any serious relationship .  I have major trust issues especially when it comes to men so my   big brothers and some of my cousins were often the only men i hanged out with . I flow more with my female friends..

                **************With  persistence, with care; 

You show them who you are is being created  with every step, every sentence, every smile. 

You show them that you are capable  but also value others. That you love the rush but appreciate the silence. That you are a balance, a chaos, an ever-changing being. 

You show them that you are complex but not difficult. Bold but not harsh, soft but not fragile. 

With acceptance and tenderness and 

eagerness to fight; you show them that who you are is not defined by the reflection in the mirror  or the words spilled from someone else mouth. 

You show them them the person you have the power to be is already within you; strong and full  on her own.

With resilience, with respect;You show them that to love you means to accept all of your parts not thinking that you are perfect but that you are worthy. Because you believe yourself to be...

That is how you teach people how to love you.  

                     

Relationships are hard. We all admit it. But when two people love each other, they always find a way to make it work. No matter how hard it is.

So when you do find love ; by all means never let it go...❤❤❤

       

                               ********

Haven't read anything from me in a while?..Well this is for you. 

This is also for my pilot friend who relocated to Slovakia. Seven thousand smiles and yours is my favourite.... 🤸🤸🤸. 

                                    * ***




Ps:wedding image from Pinterest,quotes from XOs.