LESS THAN PERFECT- (EXCEPTS) - RAHAB

While reading Anna Plangers -  some broken  men and women of the Bible ; I came across the chapter on RAHAB; whom we all know was a prostitute. 

She slept with married men for money. She was one sweet but wild side chick. This story got me really emotional. 

Like many young girls today probably,she found  the restrictions of her respectable home too irksome. 

She wanted a freer life , a life of thrill, freedom and excitement away from not just the preying eyes of her  parents but also from the discipline  of the home. I am pretty sure she had strict parents.

Her desire to be independent burned  so much like the  recent bush fire in Australia and as high spirited as she was she moved out of her parents home and bought an apartment. One that had a rooftop.  

Yes, Rahab had an impeccable taste for the fine things of life . 

After a while , she decided to go into full time business and so she built an Airbnb (hotel). 

People from all walks of life used to pass their nights there and most of these men were her clients.

Rahab was also pantomah .She had all the latest filla. And because her Airbnb was located at the city gate, she missed  nothing and saw everyone as they passed through. 

Travellers of all over the region  and from all walks of life carried news of the world beyond and discussed it at her place.  

It was from some of the travellers Rahab  entertained and sinned with, that she came to learn the facts of the Exodus of Israel, the miracle of the Red Sea, and the overthrow of Sihon and Og.

Two men set out on a dangerous assignment in Jericho. They were to spy the military and observe everything going on in the city and revert to Joshua.

They had no fear in mixing with the locals because they had roamed through the streets for a while after they arrived in the city before checking in to  Rahab's Airbnb.

 Often all the people in Jericho knew all the men who entered and left  her house.  So, on the night the  two spies from Joshua sought cover in her house, she knew that sooner or later the king of Jericho would get to know of the accommodation she gave them.

At the same time here were two men, different from  all the other men who came seeking her favour.  These were men of God not idolaters on a mission to overthrow the enemies of his people. She  brilliantly planned their protection and escape.

It was some few weeks into the first month and it was the harvest time for barley so  Rahab spread flax  on her roof and hid the spies under the drying flax. 

Shortly after, the Kings troops had tracked the two spies to Rahab’s Airbnb. She met them with a plausible excuse that the spies  were there but had expressed disinterest  in her offers and left through the  Eastern Gate headed  towards Jordan.  

She even added that  they could come in and search her house incase they doubted her  but the troops left. Her  skillful scheme succeeded. 

Once the king’s men took off, Rahab joined her guests on the roof, where they were hiding  beneath a long, wet linen and tie dye fabric. 

The two Jewish spies were filled with fear seeing the Amorite pursuers were after their lives but Rahab,  although her safety and patriotism to her nation would be assured if she had reported them to the King ; she rather  assured them  and preserved them. 

While her way of life  had  estranged her from her loved ones, she was still concerned about their safety as well as her own. And so Rahab wanted the kindness she had  shown the spies reciprocated.

In return  for their safety , they promised to protect her when the Israelites attacked the city provided she abided by two conditions.

First, she and her entire family were to stay in her house during the attack.She was asked to keep the red scarlet rope tied to her window . That way her house would not be attacked when the war broke out.  

 Finally, she  let down the  scarlet rope which she had already dyed with the colour red  and made them  escape through the window. 

At this point , I cannot forget to mention that Rahab was into fabrics. She manufactured linen and tye dye fabrics for commercial use.

Jericho was the worst of the cities of the Amorites so  God  had commanded Joshua to destroy both the city and it's inhabitants. 

Several months later,   When Joshua entered the city to go about his  execution of the divine command; he remembered the promise made to Rahab by the spies. 

They  brought her parents, brothers  and all  that she had out of her doomed house and made them secure without the camp of Israel even before the walls of Jericho fell down... hallelujah.

This reminded me of the song:

 "The walls of Jericho  fall down flat, 

The walls of Jericho fall down flat,

As the children of God are praising the Lord , 

the walls of Jericho fall down flat .."

It was one of my favorite songs during my days at Sunday school when I was a child.

Several  months after the walls of Jericho had fallen, one  of the spies whom she had saved ; Salmon; a prince of the tribe of Judah  paid the life he owed her back with a love  that was honourable and true. Amazing!!...

LESSONS

To hide spies was a crime perishable by death in Jericho and even in recent times you would spend your entire life in jail when caught so had those spies been discovered hiding at her house, Rahab  would have died at the hands of the king.

I just  cannot but admire her courage and willingness to risk her own neck. 

With a calm demeanor  and without the slightest trace of inner agitation she met the Kings troops and succeeded in sending them away.She fibbed. I call that courage and determination.

The spies came to her house, not to indulge in sin with Rahab but to prepare the way for Joshua to take over Jericho. She saved  them, not out of human pity  or because of expediency  but because she knew that they were servants of the Lord. 

She had been watching and had seen  the power of God at work. She had accepted that God is real and he is who he  says he is.   That is faith right there. 

In turn, she was saved because of her faith. This same faith led her to live a pure life and led her to get an honourable career.  How fascinating! 

There is no doubt that Rahab was a pagan who came to know GOD.  

As a  result of her marriage to Salmon; Rahab who became the grandmother of Obed, great grandmother of David whose blood  line our King JESUS was born .. Glory!!

When she made her mind to protect the spies ; She didn’t know precisely what sort of destruction would befall her city neither  did the  spies but God knew.  And on that night in Jericho, her salvation story was not only written but assured.

Rahab's  profession was not highly admirable but God can work through anyone. She did not just live her faith but exhibited selflessness, courage and bravery.

 

Described by the Bible as one of the four most beautiful women in ancient times who had a very sweet spirit ,her story   is a fitting example  of Gods  grace,unmerited favour and mercies. 

******

Her neighbors called her a woman of the night,

The LORD GOD called her a heroine of faith ,

and a man called SALMON called her his wife😍😍😍....... beautiful!!

Are you someone who writes people off? Stapppp it. God uses unlikely people. 

It is amazing how God throws his love at anyone and everyone. He doesn't choose if you know him or not. He just loves all humanity and doesn't look at what you do. But rather your heart.

Dearies, run with this;   It isn’t who you were that matters to  God. It is who you are in him. And who you are becoming by the power of his Holy Spirit.

****

MY PRAYER: 

Dear LORD,

I am a broken vessel, full of sin, made too many mistakes but drown me in your mercies ,grace and love and use me oh Lord.

May I remain gracefully broken...amen

May you be filled with gratitude as you read this. God bless you...

Photo source: Pinterest

Excerpts Inspired by the book: Broken men and women of the Bible.

Further reading:Joshua 6:17-25.

LESS THAN PERFECT(excerpts) - GOMER

"She stands outside in the cool, refreshing rain, allowing it to run in rivulets across her cheeks and down her lips. She is like the lily of the valley that spreads its fragrance across the fields or like the lush, abundant grapes that make men glad. Fertility and fruitfulness, celebration and wild abandon—these are the forces that rise and surge within her"

Young, beautiful, and bold, she is always smiling, flashing her big, dark eyes, attracting inevitable attention. God knows how easy it would be to entice her admirers into showering her with gifts of silver and gold. She is determined to squeeze every ounce of sweetness from life. 

Gomer was the wife of Hosea. The early days of their marriage were beautiful as their love began to blossom. 

It was after the birth of  their son Jezreel that Hosea seems to have noticed a change in Gomer. She became restless and unhappy.

However , He went on preaching and encouraging the wayward nation to turn from its sin and trust God for deliverance from the threat of surrounding nations.But Gomer seemed less and less interested in his ministry.  At a point,she found  it very embarrassing to be known as the prophets wife and so she 

 began to find other interests to occupy herself and spent more  time away from home. She actually yearned for someone she can truly love and relate with.

 

Eventually,she leaves Hosea and abandons her children. Throwing off every constraint, she begun  to lead a life of  prostitution. For a while it pleased her. 

She does what she

 wants as and when she wants to do it. Her lovers say nothing disagreeable but only what she longed to hear; that she was the most stunning and exciting woman they have ever known. She felt enriched by all the gifts they gave; silver and gold, wool and linen, wine and oil and everything that made life flashy.

But it was not quite enough. Something was still  missing. What could it be?

That something turned out to be someone — a man she met whose charms were  greater than her own. 

She loved to lean against his chest and feel his strong encircling arms. A man of influence and quick wit.Her lover knew exactly how to please her. As long as he was near, she felt so secure. As long as she revered  him, he was glad to stay.

But things begun to turn. He was away more than she liked, and he was not always as attentive as she thought he should be. Then she begun to cling and quiz him about where he had  been and who he had been with. The more she asked, the less he told her. The more she pursued; the more he backs away until at last he vanished. Left alone, she begun to feel empty, run out of money and started to frail so she sold herself off to the sex slave market.

Hosea goes looking for her as God had asked him to but had found her with another man who was demanding a price for her. 

He actually paid the man off and  brought Gomer  home, and eventually restored her to her position as his wife.

So Gomer, who has lived a dissolute life, returns home to live with Hosea, a husband she does not deserve. 

She had broken her husband's heart more than once but she knew not how hard it was for Hosea to marry her when he did. She had no inkling that God had instructed him to "Go, take to yourself a wife of harlotry, and have children of harlotry; for the land commits flagrant harlotry, forsaking the Lord” (Hos. 1:2).

 

****

what a man Hosea was!! Why can't he let her go and find himself another woman? Why: are the women on Earth finished?  Why did he even get married to a prostitute in the first place? 

Trust you me, those were some of the things that run through my mind   after reading about Hosea and Gomer's love story . But you see God is not a man.

 He is  not like us who easily judges and condems others because of the lives they have  lived in the past or even in the present. 

God is Hosea. We sin against him every minute of our short lives here on Earth but he still loves us dearly and forgives us each and every time.

You may want to stop judging already;  God uses broken people to glorify his kingdom....

*****

Photo from Pinterest

Book- Less than Perfect (broken men and women from the Bible) by Anna Spangler.

LEFT AT THE ALTAR....👰

It was a beautiful June morning. Elegant and classy  with a fall theme of orange.Plum and cream  as our colours. Laid back and relaxing for our guests.The grass looked  much greener in the garden and the early morning drizzle   made the flowers blossom all the more.The  beautiful garden of Asher Hotel was tranformed into the wedding venue with the altar set up at the far end . Rows of chairs were set up on either  side with  a white carpet laid in the middle. Everything looked magical. 

So they say if you marry in June; you are a bride all your life.  I wondered how true that was as my hand pressed against my chest in an attempt to calm my speeding heart. I looked out of the bay window and smiled at the hustle  bustle below. Guests were arriving and I saw a family member and close friends greeting and guiding everyone to their seats. 

The day was finally here. Jamal Coleman;his name brought smiles to my face. He has been a part of my life ever since we were kids. We grew up together to be friends and then that friendship blossomed into love and today that love was going to be sealed with matrimony.

It was only few moments now before I marry the love of my life

It is  almost time gushed Lena my best friend and maid of honor as she  swooped into the room carrying the bouquets.  Following her was  Jessica; her twin sister and the rest of the geng; my six
bridesmaids.

You look beautiful my mum said as she pulled the veil over my face , smoothing it out.

Jamal wont even know what hit him when he sees u walking down the aisle teased my little brother Kwabena as he poured as all champagne for a toast before the ceremony.

Gosh, I was a sight to behold with my lace and satin a- line wedding gown.  The bodice of the gown was detailed in lace , ribbons with a bateau neckline.  My slim waist was outlined with a belt that merged into  the fall of the satin that graced the floor.  Just  then there was a knock at the door and it flung opened and there stood my dad in the door way awe struck at the sight in front of him.

Pride swelled in his chest and tears brimmed in his eyes. He said, “ i cant believe  i am about to walk my little girl down the aisle , It was only yesterday you learned how to walk"  as he pulled me in for a hug. I replied Dad, “I will always be your little girl"  as I placed my head against his chest.

My brother ; Ekow  said  to me “  if that boy gives you any grief you just have to tell , you know right?"  I laughed and pulled back from him . He added  “ I am not joking baby girl".

Ed Sheerans  “perfect" began to play in the background  as my Dad walked me down the aisle and into the arms of the love of my life along with my bridesmaids.  Not only did my gown sweep the  white carpet that laid on the grass  but it was also covered in glitters as my page boy and flower girl threw them along the way from the tiny baskets they held all through the way to the altar.

After blessing the rings, the priest asked that we  face each other and then the vows followed with Jamal going first holding that beautiful silver ring in between his fingers. 

“I take you to be my partner for life,

I promise above all else to live in truth with you
And to communicate fully and fearlessly,
I give you my hand and my heart
As a sanctuary of warmth and peace

I promise that 
 I will walk with you,
Hand in hand,
Wherever our journey leads us,
Living, learning, loving,

And I pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor
As I join my life to yours,

Together,

Forever." 

And just as he was about to slip the ring on my finger, he whispered softly  into the microphone..." I can't do this"  and run off. 

And so I screemed at the top of my lungs until my voice went hoarse and my throat was raspy. "Get me out of this dress. Get me out of it. Get it off!".

My desperate fingers franticly ripped at my wedding dress; a dress that had taken my two friends ten minutes to get me into, thanks to the intricate crisscross ribbons of the bodice. But I was trapped.  My brides maids; Lena and Jessica  held my hand and started walking me away from the scene,  they were taking too long. The air around me became too thick to breathe and I felt like I was drowning.

"I cant breathe. I cant breathe .Its too tight."

Lena tapped on the door to room 109, Jessica quickly  made a  move for a knife that was requested upon arrival at the hotel reception and without hesitation, she cut.

The sound of the serrated knife eviscerating the ribbons was like fingernails down a blackboard; it made  my skin crawl. But I could feel the bodice getting loser until it finally slipped down my aching body and pulled lifelessly on the floor. I was finally free.

And then the tears came, hot, wet tears streaming down my cheeks and streaking my flushed skin with angry black mascara lines. The tears turned to sobbing.

I looked at my dress, the pathetic puddle of ribbons, satin and beads lay at my feet. But I still felt trapped. My hair! The perfect up do, held together with delicate  pearl clips.

Suddenly it felt like every  strand of hair was tightening around my head, like a boa constrictor going in for a kill. My fingers ripped desperately trying to free it from its pearly captives.

I wanted to get the pearl clips removed. Gone off. I wanted to rub every single trace of the wedding away. I pulled out my earrings and grabbed the nearest tissue, rubbing my pink lipstick off until my lips hurt. It smeared across my face like an ugly rash.

If someone were standing outside the window looking in, they would have pegged me for a  crazy person. And I wouldn't have blamed them. Because somewhere in the back of my now -estranged rational brain , I knew I looked like a lunatic escaped from a mental  asylum. But I didn't know what else to do.....

Because he...

Jamal Coleman, fiancè of one year , perfect boyfriend of  eight years had left me  just some few minutes before we exchanged rings  at the altar. The bottle of perfume that  he wanted me to wear today; insisted I wear because it was his favorite mocked me from the dressing table . So I picked it up and threw it against the wall, watching it shatter into a million pieces just like my life. I was hit by the sickly sweet smell of jasmine and felt sick to my stomach.

What was I going to tell the over five hundred guests who had sat on the lawn in the garden just to see us get married.  Some  had even flown in  here  to Ghana all the way from Australia.

A wedding that my father had spent a small fortune on. A wedding that was going to be perfect. Perfect, dammit, perfect.

I had made sure of that, red hart concepts had painstakingly handled every single tiny detail. It had taken months and months of meticulous planning to create this day, and now what?

Things went blurry all of a sudden. I vaguely remember my big brother Ato bursting into the the room screaming insults  and vowing to beat the hell out of him. I was even told he had punched the best man when he claimed to have no idea of Jamal's whereabouts and intentions.  My rational  father tried but could not  find any legitimate motive for Jamal's behavior at the altar after he had tried calling him a hundred times. His phone was switched off. Where did he run off to? Why did he choose to do this at this time? 

At some stage, the guests started a rumour mill....it went into full swing.....

She had an affair

He left her and eloped with someone else

He was gay,

She was uncultured.

People threw around bad words like bastard, asshole, liar. They also threw around words like shame, sorry, pity. They wondered whether they should take their wedding gifts back or leave them. What was the correct protocol in situations like this?

While the world around me was going mad, I felt a strange calm descend. My mind drifted off to the day he asked me to marry him. It was on the eve of his graduation day from the University.  We had gone out on a date  at the Tomreik hotel. I thought it was going to be a normal dinner where we would just eat, drink and talk but Jamel had surprised me . He had taken me to a small setup of chairs and a table that had wine and a light snack by the lakeside. 

"I love you more Bae" . You are my heart and soul,my  sweetheart ", he whispered into my ears as he pulled out the chair for me to sit on. 

My eyes got teary. He got down on one knee and pulled out a red Cartier box, I gasped then he said ,"I cant imagine  spending my life any other way besides loving you and protecting you for as  long as I shall breathe" . Will you marry me? ...With tears in my eyes I agreed to marry him.

That night he kissed my neck softly. My skin was on fire everywhere he laid his lips. It took everything I had not to cup his face and finally give in . Jamel gave me a night of sweet blur of torrid kisses and passionate caresses. 

He snapped my bra off and grabbed my panties.  

Then he immediately locked his mouth on my clit. I gasped in instant pleasure. He sucked and licked me so good as my body arched into his mouth as I leaned back.  His hands kneading my breasts watching me moan for him..

 "Oh god Jamal , yes!. That feels so good!"

 He took off his shirts off and then I unbuckled   his belts and pants and start stroking him. He moaned and threw his head back a little . 

Jamal took me and kissed me again running his  hand through my hair.

Suddenly I felt him enter me . I gasped getting used to his size. It always got me. I loved it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we kissed every once in a while as he plunged in and out of me.  "Bae, oh god! You are sweet. So wet and tight like always."  He groaned in the nook of my neck and then places kisses down it.  He speeds up but not pounding too hard. I moaned with intensity as he hit my gspot over and over again . I let go of his hips and he drives forward harder and deeper .  I felt myself being driven over the edge . I wrapped my arms underneath his  arms  and onto his back and shoulders and held on to him so   tight as we both cum together .I ended up falling asleep in his arms after. Those arms were home to me.

Then again reality hit me and nothing seemed real anymore and I began to feel like a voyeur looking at my life from a distance. I didn't care that I was sitting on the floor in my bra and panties. I didn't care that my mascara were so smudged. I just didn't care.

The priest came in to offer some kind of spiritual guidance but left quickly. Some inquisitive relatives wanted to come in through the door but were sent away.  Sima Brew   wanted to see her best creation  come alive but became a total freak when she saw the state of the dress.

Then everything went very hazy and the noise around me combined into one strange drone.

I closed my eyes and everything went black.

On my wedding day,  I couldn't  imagine that the man who had promised me the world and professed his undying love for me left me at the very last moment. I opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling, the reality of what just  happened weighing heavily on me but I gasped and shot up in bed. My family doctor had come in to give me an injection to help calm me down.

 Eventually my parents drove me back to  our  luxurious beach front home ;  Pedu -west where I spent the rest of the day in bed. I wanted to escape somewhere where I could no longer feel anything. Jamal had shredded my soul, leaving me hollow and bare. I wanted to forget everything that happened today and before this day; his touch, his voice, his kisses, his promise, the twinkle in his brown eyes when he smiled. I couldn't live with those memories because he was no longer here neither was he a part of my life anymore and I was not going to go insane living with those.

But how can one erase eight years worth of memories? I needed time to heal and my dad felt that a change of environment could help so he put me on the next available flight to Dubai the following week to visit my aunt; Akua Asor.

After a month I was still broken as day one but had managed to put that energy into modelling since I had the height and an  hour glass figure. I wasn't exactly on the run way but  I was doing occasional photoshoots. Been in a couple of  well known fashion magazines too .

 Three months later, it was time for me to return back to my homeland.  I returned back to Ghana to finish the final semester of Med school and do my house manship.

Its been difficult especially when he never gave me any explanation for leaving me at the altar.

 Infact I never heard from him again. His family tried to reach out to me but could not explain their sons behavior. He meant the world to me. He was my heart and soul. Now how does one survive without those?  I am just glad that I am still breathing.

It was 2am in the morning. A very cold  morning and I was still wide awake and have not been able to close my eyes for a single moment.  It was the harmattan season and  some few days to  Christmas as well.

My name is Ewurasi Asher, the only daughter  of Ebo Asher, the CEO of Asher Hotels. He owns a chain of hotels from around the world precisely West Africa, making my father one of the richest men in  Ghana.

  I live in one of the flats in Adenta, a suburb of Accra.  I moved from home in Cape Coast  to work with the prestigious  Ann Marrie Medical Centre as a Neurosurgeon  for the past one year. It was hard to adjust at first. I always had things given to me on a silver platter and I had house maids to do my domestic chores for me but quickly I learnt how to adjust and I can honestly say that moving to Accra   was one of the best things that has happened to me.

I have been suffering  from insomnia for the past two months. I had just slipped back into bed after letting the curtains up so the light from the moonlight could come in, when my phone lights flickered. It was a whatsapp message from my room mate  Damilola . She sends messages usually during my birthday or when it's Christmas. That is when she is away in Nigeria for the holidays with her family. 

So I replied and then she asked me the dreaded question. "Ewurasi, when are you getting hitched...?  It was this question  that led me on a walk down memory  lane.

.....its been one year six months already and I have not been able to get myself into any serious relationship .  I have major trust issues especially when it comes to men so my   big brothers and some of my cousins were often the only men i hanged out with . I flow more with my female friends..

                **************With  persistence, with care; 

You show them who you are is being created  with every step, every sentence, every smile. 

You show them that you are capable  but also value others. That you love the rush but appreciate the silence. That you are a balance, a chaos, an ever-changing being. 

You show them that you are complex but not difficult. Bold but not harsh, soft but not fragile. 

With acceptance and tenderness and 

eagerness to fight; you show them that who you are is not defined by the reflection in the mirror  or the words spilled from someone else mouth. 

You show them them the person you have the power to be is already within you; strong and full  on her own.

With resilience, with respect;You show them that to love you means to accept all of your parts not thinking that you are perfect but that you are worthy. Because you believe yourself to be...

That is how you teach people how to love you.  

                     

Relationships are hard. We all admit it. But when two people love each other, they always find a way to make it work. No matter how hard it is.

So when you do find love ; by all means never let it go...❤❤❤

       

                               ********

Haven't read anything from me in a while?..Well this is for you. 

This is also for my pilot friend who relocated to Slovakia. Seven thousand smiles and yours is my favourite.... 🤸🤸🤸. 

                                    * ***




Ps:wedding image from Pinterest,quotes from XOs. 

AUGUST ON 365

   Hello August, you are here already. Not that I anticipated. It may seem kinda hard but I told myself I was never going to miss you while you are away on the 365 days trip around the sun. Here is a shocker for you. I missed you more than I ever did in my entire life and have come to appreciate you even more.

August,hold your breath for this one.....are you sitting down?......When you said to allow myself be found....I loosened up.   After all it gets boring staying indoors watching movies on Friday nights while everyone else is out on a date. The one I met was very  difficult, as if I am any better. He could make me laugh the whole day  and demanded so much attention ,something I am absolutely not used to but I adjusted.

Fun days turned into horrible days . I was treated like a doormat,assaulted and left in the middle of the street one night and stabbed a couple of times in the heart and now I appreciate the need to live a single life even more.

These days I fear the life lived outside of Gods will and fear being with a man who does not love me as Christ loves the church.

.......This person has tried my patience and tamed my anger. That  relationship has changed my thoughts about marriage.   In fact marriage comes with its own challenges..... Yaayyyyyyyy.

  I have learned that when a man loves you he would be loyal and trustworthy. He will be focused. He will fight for me as much as I would fight for him. I will try his patience ,he with mine and he would make me want to scream at times but when the dust settles I would be his priority. And that he won't say it often but he will love me and my heart would be safe with him so yes I fell but I got up,dusted myself and moved on, away from the counterfeit.

I have not watched TV in a while. The eyes  won't permit me. I almost went blind but God stepped in. They are doing amazingly well now and I am looking forward to the day I can do without those glasses completely.

I have come to appreciate Mama more, she stays awake even after midnight to say "welcome home" before going to bed. Everyone else sleeps off before I even get home... Mama is the best .

Time; there's absolutely no time these days. 24hrs is like 12hours now....

And oh my friends, not that I have a big circle.  Some have messed up  a lot of times just like I do but I am nicer to each of them. I treat them with grace because true friends are  worth more than any worldly possession.

August, graduate school is knocking on the door silently ....I pray I make the days count because two years would fly by soon.

My biggest challenge that you never spoke about is the fact that there are gossips in every organization. Those who make you the center of their lives by running every hook and cranny to get a little info about you, turn it upside down and spread it like wildfire.  It used to get to me but not anymore. Let them do their talking and let me continue to be a celebrity doing only the things that make me better.

August,  I have had bitter days ,been humiliated, felt forgotten,unworthy,terrified and alone but I take consolation in the words of   David in Psalm  30:5 that says "weeping may last for a night but joy comes in the morning."

Many wonder how I do it but I think   august gives birth to very strong children.

I take it easy and smile even more.  I shall enjoy my  twenties....

August, for the lessons that I have learned, I am grateful.   I'm still discovering the rest.

For now, I may be taking baby steps but I am making a lot of progress. And Its my fervent prayer that you would meet a much more excited  and better "me" on your other 365 days return trip.

This year you came with a different wind and honestly any day in august is better than a day in January......

How has your year been so far?......Has it been good or bad?..... Has it brought you pain much more than laughter?........No matter how the months in the year have treated you remember that Gods joy is our strength. He promises to bind our wounds. It is darkest before  the dawn, but the sun will rise again.

And the pain that you have been feeling is just the dark before the morning and it can't compare to the joy that is coming.

Keep riding your bicycle and breathe the sweetness that hovers in August.

This piece is for all my friends who loved me when I was  so unlovable....... Abigail,  Aramma, Kiki, Vivian ,M- Sita, Emefa, Evanam, Sark Mason,  Helga,  JD,   Kwadwo , Franklyn , Speaker Addo  and Stacy.

Blessings fall on you all.......

LOVE CAN KILL YOU

I woke up to find Emily crying at my bedside in ward 5 @ the Opoku Ware hospital. I was alarmed, had the doctor said something to her or had something happened at home? I quickly sat up and asked her why she was crying. Amidst the tears she told me her twin sister had committed suicide..

 

What? Emelda had committed suicide, why, how come? Reason being that her husband of eleven years was cheating on her and had practically moved out of their apartment leaving her with their two kids- Ryan and Bryan. I was astonished.  

 

Emelda had gotten her heart broken; she was in a state of cynicism and bitterness. Her husband wouldn't eat her food, he beats her when she complains about him coming home late. He wouldn't even touch her anymore. Yet day in day out, her husband goes in to the next door neighbor's home, takes her out and sleeps over. During an argument, he mentioned that he was going to divorce Emelda for the woman next door just because it's her he feels he wants to be with. I am also told that Emelda's husband, Jamal was in Ghana during the Christmas holidays and stayed over at his in-laws house but had come with Rethabile, the lady next door. He had sold all the lands he and his wife had toiled to buy just so he can have an expensive wedding ceremony for the lady next door.

 

 

That reminds me, I was in Johannesburg in August to see my granny and visited Emelda a couple of times but the only conversation we could hold down was mere pleasantries when we exchanged greetings. The rest of the hours we spent, every tick-tock was her complaints about how her husband cheating on her with the lady next door. 

 I saw how practically devastated my friend was and advised that she seeks counseling.

 

If your man has ever cheated on you especially with someone close then you would totally understand how my friend was feeling. She was not only emotionally hurt but had lost her self- confidence too. She didn't find a reason to wake up, dress up and show up anymore. She didn't have a job. Emelda has been living in Johannesburg for ten years and had never worked before.  Her Husband won't allow her to. So she had become a stay- at -home mum taking care of her two children. The only time she ever goes anywhere is when she had to drop or pick her kids from school, or people like us visit and we wanna hang out. I had always envied Emelda's figure. She was tall and slim with bigger butts and wider hips. She had an ‘8 figure’ and each time we were walking by the roadside during our university days in Ghana, it's either we get to have a free ride to our destinations or we had men staring at us in both directions.

 

So before I returned back to GH, my granny had gotten her a contact to a counselor to help her pull out of her current situation. I have tried calling to check on her and also to find out how the counseling session had been going but she won't pick my calls. She had even blocked me on WhatsApp. I have had my granny go to her house to check on her several times. I was even told she never made it to the counselor’s. 

 

Apparently Emelda had gotten tired of the situation and felt suicide was the only option forgetting that she had her children to live for. So she swallowed a couple of pills whilst videoing herself and sent it to her twin sister whom she had blocked for a couple of months now. My granny was called but by the time she got to the apartment, Emelda had passed on. What ‘goodies’ did Rethabile have that Emelda lacked? Why would her husband treat her this way? 

 

On Tuesday night, I was called to come over to the funeral home on the Haatso road. Aaah!!!! Funeral home? What for? The person didn't say. So I made a friend drive me over to the place where I met my friend Mansa's  mum. The woman had lost her voice from too much crying and all she could ever say to me was "look what your friend had done to herself"? ....so I asked, is Mansa the reason we are here at the funeral home?. She answered yes. I couldn't believe it so I asked that they take me to see my friend. Two gentlemen along with Mansa's mum led me to the morgue, and there laid my friend with a band on her wrist that read...."Mansa Addo". They were just about putting her into the fridge when we entered. I froze! Reality hit me suddenly and I burst into tears.

 

Mansa and I had been childhood best friends during those days in Adafoah. We played in the sand together, attended the same primary school and lived across the street from each other until my mum was transferred to Accra and we had to move to the city. A year later, Mansa's family also moved to Accra and the friendship continued. Two years ago today I was at her wedding and I must admit it was a lovely one. From the decor to her gown and the reception, all was on point. She was happy with Gerald . They both were until things started getting bad. 

 

Mansa would call me at night crying over the phone that her husband hadn't been home for a week. Her food was always left uneaten. Whatever she says pisses Gerald off. They no longer had any conversation without arguing...

 

They would not reason together as husband and wife but anytime her parents or his parents were visiting they both pretended all was well. No matter how many times they quarreled they would go to church and pretend all was well. Really? 

 

She kept receiving anonymous text messages and calls from different ladies telling her about their affairs with her husband or asking her to stay away from Gerald. Some even sent pictures of the way he lays them in bed.

 

It was devastating. Mansa soaked it in. I knew she had bottled a lot within her the day I visited her at Korle-Bu. She had told me she was tired and couldn't take it anymore. And even though her blood pressure just kept rising the doctors couldn't say exactly what was wrong with her. So she was often in and out of the hospital.

 

The situation had been a big toll on her. Her colleagues at the bank had noticed but she wouldn't speak to anybody. Mansa kept growing lean. Even Gerald noticed and all he could say was Mansa should eat well. He gave her a week of love and affection, claimed he had changed and went back to his usual life style in three days.

 

On Monday, she came home to meet Gerald in their matrimonial bed with another lady. That broke her but she took it easy. I called to check up on her on Tuesday morning but she was driving and asked that we speak later in the day. I didn't know she had passed on until her mother called me.

 

My friend just broke her mother’s heart and that of mine.  She died because she couldn't take it anymore. She died for love.

 

Hmm!! I'm saddened.  Love is never supposed to hurt. Love is supposed to heal, love is supposed to be your haven from misery. Love is supposed to make life worth living but it can also kill you.  Each time you decide to love someone, marry someone or get into a relationship with someone or whatsoever, remember it is a risk. It may or may not work out. 

  

I dedicate this piece to each and everyone who has been hurt one way or the other by love. I have had my share of it, we all have but the sun would definitely shine again.

 

Whatever causes you pain, whatever sucks your energy is not worth fighting for.

 

When we lose hope may God help us to remember that his love is greater than all our disappointments and his plans for our lives are bigger than our dreams.

Blind for days

Hi there,

I live , love and learn everyday but mondays are made with love for me. They represent a fresh new week packed with new opportunities and new challenges.  So as usual, I sat in front of my dressing mirror and begun speaking blessings over my life before kick starting the day when my s7 edge beeped. It is Aku, my konkonsa partner texting with updates on the lastest  info of that guy we met at the Sharwarma party over the weekend  I thought, only to realise it was actually a reminder.......It was 21st November and I had an appointment with Dr.Baeta at 8:30am. Dr. Baeta has been my ophthalmologist for several years now ever since his dad went on retirement and he took over the position.  My heart missed a beat as I anticipated the results of todays cycloplegic refraction test to find out the reason for the constant pain in my  eyes and the headaches as well so I dragged me off into the shower and got ready to step out to the hospital and then finally to the Orange house to present the 10am show.

Whiles waiting at the bus stop  waiting for Osei, my favourite taxi driver,  I felt this sudden headache and some slight dizziness and then everything went blur. I sat quietly until I heard the horn of Osei's car. I was still in absolute shock when I asked him to help me get into into the cab and pleaded that he put  my bag on the seat beside me. Up until then, I was normal, funky and excited about having a bite of starbites jollof rice later that day.

We drove in silence. Am sure Osei was shocked too. He didn't know what was happening so he kept asking "madam, wo ye okay?. I responded. .......Ani nanso me nhu hwee"!! (Yes, but I can't see anything in twi) .  I panicked , rubbed my eyes and pulled up my eyelids with my fingers. I even closed my eyes and opened them yet the world stayed dark. I was on my way to the optometrists office,  how could I suddenly lose my eye sight?.  I pushed ,my bag closer to me and fumbled through until I found my phone. Familiarity with it proved to be  a blessing here as I managed to unlock it and get to all my call log, calling the numbers one by one.

I finally managed to return the call from the optometrists reminder.

"Dr. Baeta speaking......Mancee are you alright? "

I took a deep breathe and calmed myself down before speaking , "No, am not . I came in on Saturday, and am even on my way  to see you but you didn't tell me  I was going to go blind. I am unable to see anything,  Dr.  Baeta."

"Give me just a second ,  "I heard scuffling on the other side. "So I just pulled out your file,  Mancee.

 Have you come into contact with any chemicals since Saturdays exam?  Any physical trauma?

"No please".

"Alright. Listen , I am gonna need to take a look at you. Could you please get someone to take you to the office?

"Sure, I am on my way". 

"Okay, see you soon and stay calm, Cee.

"Okay, bye".

So many thoughts flooded my mind after the call with Dr.  Baeta.   I don't know what the future holds  for me since I am blind now, how about my listeners who were to be served Branch on the airwaves of Orange 98.1 fm, so I wouldn't be able to see my little girls beautiful smiles any longer? 

......Were some of the thoughts that flooded my mind.   I also thought about how  how I was going to 

be a burden to my mum and siblings.  I hate people doing things for me. I am a getter myself. Just then I remembered my dreams from last night.  I was in my pink tank top and blue skinny jeans driving my favourite car, a white Ferrari with my hair blowing  in the wind ever so freely and smiled. At least I haven't lost the power to dream.

We arrived at the hospital , the driver walked me in carrying my  bag in his other hand.  Dr.  Baeta was waiting in his office and quickly helped me to relax into a seat and run  a couple of tests including a 4 - d base treatment,  visual field tests and a stereoscopic test and then we had the cycloplegic test to determine  the cause of the pain in both eyes.

Later he explained to me that my visual loss cannot be medically explained and asked that we pray and hope for the best but in the meantime he had prescribed some medications for me which I could pick up at the fronts desk and asked Osei to take me home and pick my glasses that would aid me to see next week.  Honestly this left me confused.

I called in sick and stayed in bed the rest of the day. My data was off. There was no I could go on social media since I was blind now so the only thing I did was to listen to the songs on my phone , or listen to the news either on   Tv or radio.

These past few days, I ate my food in silence and with no supervision.  Same when I go in to take a shower. There are some things that you can do without the help of others when it becomes a part of you.

Then I got fed up with staying in bed all day so I would follow my sister to the bus stop on her way to work and try to walk back home alone. I hated coming out in the afternoons because the sun kept disturbing my eyes but mainly because most of my  neighbours who had heard about my predicament felt the need to treat me differently.  They just won't allow me to go for my strolls in peace. They felt sorry for me. Gave me unwanted special attention and said things like "oh you poor thing" and here Sweetness,  let me help you get home when they meet me at my gate or on the street..... But hey , I got along fine.  But I must say its a challenge being blind.

Sometimes it felt as though I could see but when I open my eyes I only realise that I cant see except for that permanent colour.........black.

Then , I woke up to a white morning. Still blurry but yes  its indeed a white morning....... hallelujah.

Losing my sight for these few days made me appear stoic and calm beneath the surface. However I was smoldered in anger because I believed I didn't deserve my vision loss.

But I also learned that believe in  God is so helpful with coping with a dramatic human event. I just knew things were going to change, but the time wasn't known to me.

All I wanted from my optometrist was kindness not indifference,  attention not distraction and he delivered.

I did not want to be dismissed as unimportant but my friends at least those I had the chance to speak with over the phone didn't make me feel like that though not all of them heard. (Now they know via this write up.).

Next time you see a blind person in the street , don't treat them differently,  just treat them with respect . It can happen to anybody......May God cause us to remember his grace that keepeth us.

........a million miles above the sky 

         Angels bow before your throne

          You are God and God alone

 that is the song they have been singing ( I am singing it too)

          all creation call you holy 

          Even now we bow before you

          Worthy worthy worthy
           is the lamp upon the throne

       

           Hallelu Hallelujah

       we lift our voice to praise your name .

          Hallelu Hallelujah
           heaven and earth adore you Lord
            (Repeat).

Today is not like any other day.......Its my thanksgiving day.....

There are still so many things in life to be enjoyed even when you are blind..........happy sunday

    

A Note To My Self On My Birthday

Dear Self,

Its amazing how fast time runs huh! ...Another 8th August is here and it is your birthday.

I have seen you triumph,

I have seen you fall,

I have seen you cry and laugh,

I have seen you on your best days and your worst days.

I have  listened to all your concerns, your complaints, your goals,

I have also listened to your heart and your spirit..

I have seen people walk in and out of your life,

I have seen you care yet not cared for,

I have seen you love yet not loved in return.

I have seen your heartbroken loads of times ,

That is life , Self and you know all that now.

I have seen you learn so many lessons on this journey ,

I know you may not have all the answers at this moment and that you are still searching and defining your real purpose.

It is a new day , a new beginning and as you  take the first step in this new year,  be advised to start it with self discipline,  self awareness and self love.

Self, you have so much power that you may not know yet but I hope you develop and identify all of your power points, untapped capabilities in this new year .

Be kind to yourself , your family and to your friends as well as everyone you would meet .

Be grateful in your heart. Be thankful for those  who have wronged you because they have not done anything to you but for you. They have opened  up things inside for you   and helped  you grow into  someone who is stronger.

Be grateful also for life's experiences that have paved way for you to know who you are and who you are not.

Self, remain humble. I repeat remain humble.. Always remember you did not get to where you are now alone.  You got to where you are because of hard work and determination.  People trained you  because they believed in you. People accepted your mistakes. They took chances on you because they saw all your rushing through and wanted to see more of you.

Still dream Self. I know you don't have the spirit of fear but sometimes you feel like opening the door for it to come through.  Never!  Remember  why you are doing  what you are doing. Remember the CNN  dream. Don't be too shaken by the adults decision that are now inundating in your life. Never be overwhelmed by payroll, rent , health care and bla bla bla bla .... Everyday is a new  possibility to see the world as  a place you can dream big.  The  exciting part is that you get to sit back and watch them become a reality... Dare yourself and don't chicken out.

Make this new age an opportunity for you to to show all that you have prepared for in the last decades.

Self, don't change who you are. Don't let the negative things of this world block you from seeing all your beauty,  most importantly your beauty.  You are damn beautiful , Self.  Rock it this year. Open up your heart to love more, ...............allow you to be found......

Last but not least, pray like never before , pray, pray more. Pray and spend more time with God  as often as you can.  Nothing  matters without him.  You know if hes not the center of your life then you are not really living right!  Sure you do.

                    your purpose is in him,

                     your worth is in him,

                      your  salvation is in him,

    

Self,  he is your all in all......... He is your everything.

As the sun sets on your   +1 birthday  don't forget  that you are  a lioness.  Dare to become all you were created to be.
  

The slate is clean.  You are not defined by your past. The best version of you just begun.

   

Its a perfect day for you.    Happy birthday.

See you in two years.

Sincerely ,

Mancee......

I will praise you oh Lord for you have raised me.  Am thankful for life .  Thankful for yet another year . My life , my heart, my soul and my love , it all belongs to you Father.  Give me more of you for the year ahead, grant me grace to finish my race and may I never miss thy welcome voice  and my well done message at the end of it all.....Amen.

This is especially for my PIC , the finest sports journalist....Miss Helga Gokah. Happy birthday sissy . May God bless you, enlarge your coast and fulfill all your heart desires.

It is also for my boss.  How I wish all  bosses were like you, Sir. Thank you so much for believing in me and for the opportunity to learn and grow and build on the skills needed  for my chosen career. 

This is also for  my friend who is currently far away in Australia  yet remembered it was my birthday and  sent me a cake. You are the best !

 Also for Yoko. Thank you for the drinks and for always being there.

I would want to say a big thank you to all the guys in my office for making the mini party fun.

To the one who sent me  'the surprise cake '  , I say God bless you.

It is also for you  Chris. Thank you for an evening out. I enjoyed the pineapple rice. Am sorry I couldn't eat all . My condition didn't permit me to.  You are too kind.

Something spectacular happened when I got home later that evening,  my little girl met me at the door , gave me her usual bear hug and sang me "a happy birthday song ". It was as if she's been waiting in anticipation for me to walk in. Such a priceless moment. 

 Ajo, thank God for you. You are
my most treasured gift.

And to each and every soul  who made my birthday an Awesome one, I say thank you.